I recently purchased a new pair of eyeglasses. I was overdue for an eye exam, so it was a big change in lens power. A few months ago, I realized I couldn’t stretch my arm far enough to read smaller print (for those over 40, you know what I mean). After my new lenses arrived, I had a headache until my eyes adjusted that evening. What a difference the new prescription made in my vision! This experience is much like trying something new. Change is stressful, and we get used to t

About 10-15 years ago, Apple Computers had a slogan - "Think Differently." Simple, but concise and effective. Hard to implement though, isn't it? For some of us, not conforming to social norms is easier than for others. Some of us want to "blend in," and "go with the flow." Making it harder to not conform is the tendency many of us have is resisting change, leading to stagnancy. When we resist change, we rob ourselves of new opportunities and growth. What causes us to resist

A few weeks ago, I was driving to a counseling workshop about an hour away. Just as I was leaving the Oklahoma City metro area, the tire light came on. I soon realized my tire blew out, so I pulled over to a gas station and found that my doughnut spare tire was flat as well. (Mental note - check your spare!). Also, the air compressor at the gas station did not work. I called a wrecker to have my car towed. The first place we went to did not work on tires, so I was directed ac

This post is a notification as well as a call to action for state legislation that will affect almost every Oklahoman at some point. The...

In “Defining Success,” we looked at ways to become more resilient. Today, we will look at the reasons some face difficulty in overcoming difficulties. Just like Michael Jordan heard his Dad tell him to “Go in the house Wirth the women,” each time he did not win in a basketball game, we all have “Old Tapes,” we hear play back from our earlier years each time we face challenges. If we hear positive, uplifting messages from our family, like “You can do it,” we are spurred on to

Parent: verb (used with object) to be or act as parent of: to parent children with both love and discipline. After looking up the word, “Parent,” in the dictionary and finding this definition as a verb tense, I thought it intriguing that the words, “Love,” and “Discipline” were used. I have taught parenting classes and looked for ways to convey this principle, but this definition really boiled down what I was trying to say. The definition implies tha

(Please listen to a podcast I am on with my friend Brandon Schmidt, LMFT on the therapy geeks.com under the "podcast" button or on Apple Podcasts. We expand on this article and discuss one of my other articles, "The Power of Hope.") I am old enough to watch Michael Jordan in his prime, wondering like everyone else, “How did he do that?” Obviously, he had loads of natural ability, but that isn’t enough to win championships. (The Bulls didn’t win titles until Jordan learned to

Have you ever been upside down in a car? Not like your car rolled over while you were in it, but owing more on your car than the car is worth. This is know as negative equity and can even lead to negative amortization in which you owe more and more because the interest keeps increasing while your car’s value keeps decreasing. These concepts can help illustrate how parenting styles without consistency can lead to more and more problems. I heard recently that not having consist

Last time, we talked about how Patches’ instinct dictated his behaviors. Today, I wanted to share an instance of fight or flight response in my son’s Guinea Pig. Patches was on my lap while I had my feet up in my recliner. He was pretty content, as his eyes were almost closed. My wife Leslie wanted to show me a Bible verse and came from behind us, flipping her Bible open. All of a sudden, Patches ran down to my feet very quickly without warning! The only thing we could come u

Victor Frankl, who was in a concentration camp in Germany during the Holocaust, wrote in “Man’s Search for Meaning” that “If I have a ‘Why, (meaning), I can get to any How (process). According to Frankl, the reason for the hope is more important than the way one is going to get through a situation. During this time in the midst of a pandemic, we have all had to adjust to a multitude of changes. Whether it is job changes, online school, managing child-care, or concern over co

A young boy is playing is playing his video game after school. Completely immersed in the game, his Mom tells him it is time to stop and set the table before dinner. He says back, “OK.” Ten minutes later, his Mom yells at him to stop playing and set the table. The boy replies, “You don’t have to yell at me!” When his Mom says that she asked him ten minutes ago, the boy denies that he heard anything about it. Does this scenario sound familiar? It likely has, as when they boy

At our house, we have become proud guinea pig owners. I would have never guessed, but over the past year, Patches has truly become “one of the family.” Observing his character traits have been interesting to me. He is a very careful little guy. While he trusts us, he is rarely at ease. Even the slightest disturbance can cause him to chatter, putting him on “high alert.” This heightened state of awareness is where he seems to be much of the time. It is almost like he is in “fi

A new year is a time to start new, while re-evaluating aspects of our lives we may want to change. Unfortunately, many of us do not know...

While I have been in full-time private practice for 6 years, I have felt God leading me to change over the past year. I decided to leave...